Never let me down again
by SlytherinElektra
Summary: Five times a woman from the 100 is nice to John Murphy and one time one he is nice in return. Basically, people defending/helping Murphy when he's having a hard time. (also posted in AO3)


1 Harper

He can feel their fingers all over him, thinking about they can hurt him the most. Can feel their breath ghosting over his face, while he is tied down and powerless. They have the control, he is just a puppet. A puppet who hurts – badly. A puppet who doesn't know (can't know) what their next movement will be. Will they go after his hair this time, and rip it off with their bare hands? Will they acids to burn his skin off and eat his flesh away? Will they cut his face, slowly, intimately, always so close to getting to his eyes, blinding him forever, never see their hands coming at him again.

He's there again, in his little dirty cage. He can feel the rusty cahins of his wrists, the smell of pee and decay, he can smell his own dried blood covering practically all of him. He's shivering, he's always shivering. They took his jacket and his shoes. Now there's only holed up shirt, and he's cold and terrified and ill because of all those untreated wounds. And he's just waiting for them to come and hurt him again, because no matter how hard he tries those chains won't come undone.

The word torture, in all of its glory, was a severe understatement.

And here was that grounder again, the one with the crooked smile, who enjoyed it so much when he screamed and oh god – oh no, he couldn't, just couldn't, wouldn't endure this any longer...

Harper watches him, and knows what is happening. She too has dreams of the mountain men, of being back there and the dreams are so incredibly vivid and hates it terribly. How the fear grips you and takes you. She imagines Murphy dreams about being hung, and how horrible that must have been. Or about the days the grounders spent torturing him. She shakes him, trying to release him from that hell.

"NO!"

Harper gets away and holds her hands in front of her.

Suddenly, he's not on the prison camp, he never was, and there is only this girl (what was her name? Harper?) worried look as she tells him it's his turn to keep watch, but he can still feel their fingers on him, still feels the cold and grime and it's bloody difficult to compose himself and try to act like a human being.

Harper seems somewhere between sympathetic and scared of him, and gives him ten minutes more to freshen up, put his head in order. She's kind, kinder than anyone has been in a very long time. Murphy thanks her, thanks the eyes that ground him to here and now, remind him that he's not there anymore. She hesitates, and then tells him that if he wants to talk, she's there. That she has the nightmares too. She has a warm look that erases the grounders cold from his mind, even for a little bit.

Maybe Harper will be there the next time he closes his eyes. Maybe the grounders will kill her in front of his eyes for having been kind to him.

Because they never leave. The grounders have never left him. They enjoy torturing him too much.

Harper wishes she could say something more, something helpful but can't think of anything. She just smiles. It's all right. That's all John needed.

Chapter 2: Octavia

Octavia doesn't trust him, same as everybody else. Nobody even bothers to treat him in a civil way. She actually hates him actively, and would like to be as far from him as possible. But they've seen Jaha, and they know that he's a threat and Murphy knows things that they don't, about the former chancellor, about ALIE, about all of that. So, while he's helpful, they tolerate him. But after all that's happened, after all they've done and all they've changed, Octavia isn't sure that he's such a bad guy anymore.

Of course she remembers what he did to her brother, and of course he's wanted to do something horrible to him because of it. But Bellamy found it in himself to move past it, and Murphy kind of made up saving him when he was hanging. And she understood better now, the want for blood when your people betray you, the need for retribution.

Yes, he's abrasive, and as far from subtle as possible. He is not in any way pleasant, but really he has no reason to be. And Octavia is kind of starting to enjoy his sarcasm, because at least Murphy is honest. Maybe too honest, maybe he could benefit from some diplomacy lessons, but at least he's self aware and says things like they are. And he's a pretty decent fighter, she's realised.

Maybe not the greatest strategist, maybe he wouldn't last undercover they way her brother has done, but Murphy knows when to shoot and when to hold his fire. And where they are living, that's a pretty necessary skill. He doesn't talk too much except to throw some sarcasms around, which is also something she appreciates. They could use with a bit more of humor, both her and Lincoln. Murphy may not consider himself very intelligent, but he's always able to come up with the right sass in the right moment.

She will never tell him any of this, of course. On the outside, she feels she always will have to be cold to him. He'll always be the guy that hung Bellamy and she's Bellamy's sister. So Octavia continues being as cold as usual, like everyone else. They use him for information and as another gun against their enemies, and nothing else. No thanks, never a nice place to sleep. He's the last person to get food, the first to get guards. It's easy to treat him like dirt, because everyone feels he deserves it.

So when he gets left behind, no one seems to want to go back for him. So, the enemy has him. He probably can escape and find his way back alone, even if he's hurt. There are more important things to do, more important issues, that if aren't dealt with, will lead to huge problems. But Octavia knows he can do this in less than a day, and honestly, she could use a day away from her brother, Jasper and the others.

So she goes back for him, and finds him all hunched on himself, covered in blood and bruises. Typical Murphy.

There's a look of utter confusion when he sees her, and he's probably asking himself if this is a hallucination.

"Get up, Murphy, we don't have much time until the guards wake up."

And all the time as they escape, Murphy is speechless, not understanding what is going on. It's only when they're out and Octavia is fixing up Murphy's injured leg that he finally speaks.

"You drew the shortest stick or something?"

Octavia looks at him. She's never really had one-on-one time with Murphy like this, always having seen him as an enemy. She had never noticed how big his eyes were, how expressive.

"Nah, just wanted to get away from the others for a bit. Getting you back seemed an acceptable excuse."

Murphy nods faintly, directs a half smile at her.

"Thanks anyway"

It's not much, but it's something.

They slowly start making their way back.

3: Emori

Emori likes John, this much is undeniable.

He is cute, and has been cute since he stumbled upon his words when giving her water. He is troubled and full of self-loathing, but has managed to keep moving, keep going on, continue living more or less in one piece. He has a bad past, but so has she- And he is willing forgive so easily, how he was at her side when she appeared again even if she stole from him and pt a knife in his throat.

She watches him sleep, hopes he is having a nice dream, a puts a blanket she had on the boat on him. Emori wonders how long has it been since anyone tucked him in, this brave boy who was willing to sacrifice the greatest piece of tech ever found just to save her life. How long has it been since someone has shown him kindness.

She lies next to him, wishing that this can last forever. Just the two of them, in the boat, no enemies, no lies, nobody that wants them dead. Nobody to reject them ever again, just the warmth of them both. Both John and her sleeping peacefully. She tucks the blanket carefully, so he's not cold. She likes taking care of him, as weird as it may sound for a former thief and scavenger like her.

Part of her knows this won't last long. Good things simply don't happen to either of them.

But oh, boy, is she enjoying the moment.

4: Monroe

Monroe has been partnered up with Murphy, and although some people had jokingly told her that they feel sorry for her, but really, it's not that bad. Murphy is good at following orders, and realises that she's the smarter on of the two, so he's an actual helpful partner, unlike some others that continuously have to question everything and make her follow them when they're making a bad decision.

They don't talk much. Never. They do the the stake out, watch a prisoner, try to find an escape route. Think of some way to gain advantage over the enemy. Follow the orders or someone else. And Monroe doesn't complain when she's paired up with Murphy, so they keep putting them together and they had become kind of a team. It's not ideal, but it could be worse.

Of course, in their free time each of them goes their separate ways, their contact ends there. Murphy may be a more than decent soldier, which Monroe appreciates, but that doesn't mean she wants to be around him in general. It doesn't mean she thinks he's a good guy (although lately she doesn't think he's a bad guy either), it just means he's a good partner. He has her back, and this makes everything easier. She feels kind of safe with him, something.

But she knows that this can't last forever. Nobody likes Murphy, and everyone is always very quick to blame him of everything. Most of the times it isn't his fault, doesn't even had anything to do with the thing, and has to defend himself – alone. A lot of people are still aware of his bullying ways from before he was hung, or from what he did to Bellamy and Connor among others. And so at some point he will leave, or someone will give him an opportunity to go.

Like today. They get back when a lot of people are having dinner, and after being all the day out, they're pretty tired and hungry and even they're apart (she's eating with Harper and Monty and he is alone, as usual) she can see they keep taking his food and throwing it. She knows what they are doing. They are trying to provoke Murphy, so he'll hit one of them and he'll be arrested again. Another arrest and he'll be in jail for a long while, maybe years. They are pushing his limits, and it's bullshit. And she knows it's bullshit and he knows it too, because he may not be as smart as her, but he's not dumb. A dumb person wouldn't have lasted as long as he has.

And Monroe tries to ignore, just as she usually does (it's not her business, he's not her friend and he can perfectly well defend himself) but they've been out all day, and he must be as fucking hungry as her and she will not be able to enjoy her meal until she fixes that somehow. So she goes up to him, with a dish full to the top and sits by him.

"Monroe?"

"You must be hungry."

One of those guys comes back again, but she is not letting them continue.

"This does not concern you, Monroe."

She thinks different.

"Shut your trap, Connelly."

"Why are you defending this piece of shit?"

"Why are you being such a fucking pain?" Monroe continues.

Murphy looks bewildered, and wants to say something, but doesn't know what. This is not a situation he's familiar with.

"You know what he did!"

"I also know about many things you did after we landed, Connelly. And I don't see anyone stealing your fucking lunch."

Connelly takes a step back but another silly voice replaces him.

"Is he your boyfriend now, Monroe? That's why you defend him?" The guy (Joe? Jim?) laughs bitterly and Murphy has to control himself because he can't get locked up again, he will go crazy and... "Well, being honest, I think even you can do better than that. There is no lower sum than..."

But the guy is interrupted by Monroe's fist crossing his face. They all leave quietly after that.

Murphy is looking at her as if she was some sort of goddess.

"I..."

"You don't have to say anything. I did it because I wanted to – someone needed to take those two down a peg."

"Thanks." He says, starting to worry that he might blush.

"You got my back, you probably should know that I got yours too."

"You don't need to."

"Maybe I want to. Don't you forget that I was there for one of your greatest hits." She says, and Murphy thinks this is the first time she's ever smiled at him. It feels unfamiliar for her, but it's not a bad look.

"Greatest hits?"

"When we saved Bellamy and Mel from that cliff? A lot of people don't believe that you helped but I saw it with my own two eyes. You deserve some occasional credit for the rare decent things that you do, Murphy."

Murphy nods and looks away. He wants people to treat him better, but when they actually do it, he doesn't know how to act.

"You wanna eat with me?" He says and, what the hell, it doesn't sound like such a bad idea.

"Sure, why not."

There's a bit of companionable silence. Harper and Monty throw a weird look her way, but she doesn't care. It's nice. Peaceful.

5 - Raven

Raven is helping out in the infirmary, because there's been a battle a there are lots of injured people and Abby was asking for the help of everyone she could. She had seen horrible injuries and blood and death and wanted to leave, but there was just too much work.

So she kept at it for a couple more of hours.

"Raven, you can leave now, I got backup."

"Thanks, Abby"

But when she's leaving, she hears a very pitiful scream and goes to check it out. It's Murphy and apparently neither Abby, nor Clarke or Jackson have had time to go to him yet. There's a stab wound in his stomach that bleeding profusely and his eyes are glassy, bright, unseen. She can't just leave him there to bleed out, can she?

Hating herself for it every second of the way, she goes there, makes a makeshift bandage with a piece of his shirt and bandages the wound as best as she can. That's it. She's not going to let him die but that's it. He doesn't deserve her help, not even the tiniest bit. But when she's leaving she hears a weird noise, a gurgling, weird cough and she knows he's choking.

She can't leave. He moves him to the side and he coughs up some blood. His eyes are looking in her direction, don't seem to see her. His back arches and Raven takes his blood soaked hand and holds it. Raven noticed a green tinge on his wound, so it was probably laced with some sort of poison. His eyes are rolling up in his head, but he can't pass out.

Raven hates this. She wishes she was selfish enough to be happy that he's in pain. He had this coming, right? He deserves it for what she did to her and the others. But she can't be happy this is happening. She doesn't enjoy pain, no matter who is feeling it. And she can tell, from the look on his unfocused pale eyes and the way he clings to her touch that he's scared – scared of death.

And suddenly it doesn't matter all that happened before, all the bad blood between them. She's just holding his hand while he writhed as the poison coursed through his veins.

There's a moment of recognition. A mouthed little sorry from his parched lips. Raven nods, and moves the hair away from his feverish brow.

"It's, ok. I won't let you die alone."

There's a cough, more blood in his mouth and he's limp.

Raven has an uncomfortable lump in her throat, a weight in her stomach. She calls for Abby.

"Tell me what happens with him, ok?"

Not that she cares. She doesn't.

To think otherwise would be illogical.

She looks at his blood in her hands, and despite herself, hopes for the best.

+1 Clarke (and others)

"There's too many guards, there's no way we can all get out." Clarke says.

She's trapped there with Monty, Octavia, Raven, Miller and Murphy and they are in a tight spot. They are almost out of ammo, surrounded by guards and Miller and Monty were injured.

"I'll distract them, make them think we're escaping through the back. I may not get them all in my tail but enough so that you guys can handle the remainder."

It can work. If Murphy makes some noise and leaves a trail on the opposite direction it will be much easier to escape.

"And what happens to you?" Clarke asks.

"I'll find a way. You guys get out."

He has a chance to make it out better than any of them and knows it. Besides, if they get him nobody will miss him

"We'll wait for you on the bank of the river, where we slept last time, ok?"

There's a sad, kind of final look in his eyes as he half smiles.

"Yeah, sure."

And so he leaves and starts making noise near the back. Clarke and the others find some guards in their way, but nothing they can't handle. The ammo they had was more than enough to get out. Octavia and Raven took Miller and Monty to camp but Clarke waited. So yeah, Murphy had probably been shot and killed – but she stayed, just in case.

He appears later at night, shot in a shoulder and limping, and seemed genuinely surprised to see anyone there.

"You stayed." He says, as he limps towards her.

"Had to get you home."

He keeps limping, but Clarke stops him.

"You can lean on me."

Murphy does, and feels a bit unburdened, a bit less broken.

Better to enjoy it before it goes to hell, as it always does.


End file.
